EXODUS: 4

exodus-4

I could feel the bile rising in my throat, my vision was becoming blurry and my jaw ached from clenching it so hard. The bag containing our takeout laid by my feet with its’ contents spilled about; you couldn’t see me–and maybe that was a good thing. You didn’t see the way my body shook as I tried to hold back the sobs threatening to escape their confines; you were too busy inhaling the person sprawled across your living room couch.

I watched you graze your fingertips over their exposed skin, I watched them nip at your neck and your eyes roll back into your skull with pleasure washing over your face. I stood there outside your house watching my soul shatter into a million pieces. I was paralyzed with so many emotions that I couldn’t even make sense of, that is until you pulled away from them and saw me.

You frowned ever so slightly before untangling yourself from the couch and moving towards the window, I turned and ran.

I heard the window slide open  behind me and the way you yelled my name stabbed me in the chest. With each leap I took I allowed the tears to flow from my eyes–this pain urged me to run faster–to forget that you never even knew how much I had wanted to love you.

 

 

We tend to think of ourselves more important than we really are

In your eyes, I was a confidant 

A lifelong friend 

At one point, a drunken mistake 

In my eyes, I was your soulmate 

You were my moon, my stars, and so much more 

We tend to think of ourselves more important than we really are

 

I know what you’re thinking, what the actual hell was this chapter??? Well, keep in mind that I said this story is just snapshots of these two peoples lives–it may not follow a linear path. This whole thing could be out of order, that’s all up to the reader’s interpretation. I will say that there are still a lot more chapters in this story–this is not the end…or is it? It was definitely a little bit harder to write this chapter considering how sweet the other three are. Also don’t listen to Skinny Love while reading this because I just bawled my eyes out. Happy reading kiddos!

-One girl

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EXODUS: 3

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You knew I loved puppies. No actually not loved–I LIVED for puppies; you watched me bemusedly as I gasped and made hushed squealing noises at each little ball of fluff and warmth. To contain my excitement I bounced from one foot to the other, shuffling between the top and bottom row as my fingertips strained beyond the caged fronts.

You told me to be careful and I simply scoffed at your words. How could I contain myself around so much cuteness? Before I could say this to you I heard the faintest whine directly above my head–my eyes landed on pure pup. The little cutie couldn’t have been more than a few months, its unkempt fur stuck out in all directions and its warm brown eyes seemed to mirror my own. I glanced over at you tapping away on your phone, seeing that you were distracted I kindly asked the puppy worker (you hated when I called them that) to bring this bundle of joy out to play.

They graciously complied and when you finally looked up I was holding the petite munchkin in my arms, beaming proudly at you. Your eyes darted between my face and the puppy for what felt like an eternity; I began to grow impatient and brought my attention to my new friend instead. His little teeth gnawed at the sleeve of

my shirt, I brushed my fingertip against his midnight fur gently–he was perfect.

That’s when I heard the camera shutter. I looked up and was genuinely surprised to see you snapping pictures of me with your phone, a small smile forming with each click. I shook my head and scrunched my nose up in embarrassment as I looked away from you. “Why are you doing that” I whispered frantically, trying not to disturb my little buddy nestled up in my arms. You didn’t answer, but continued to do your task–you laughed a little and I felt my heart soar.

We later left the store, sadly without my new little friend. As I sat there in the car with you–humming along to the radio–you grabbed my hand, gave it a squeeze and dropped it back into my lap. It was a small gesture, like the ones you did before, but I still felt my insides dissolve into jelly. You had this profound impression on me, and Lord knows I feared what would happen when this would end.

 

Please look at me like this forever 

Make me shudder with just a glance 

Let me feel your adoration grace my skin 

Give me this chance 

One more chance 

 

As promised, for every two posts I give you…AN EXODUS ENTRY!!! Sorry if this isn’t as good as the last two it was a kind of spur of the moment type of deal. I’m actually trying to produce multiple chapters at the moment so I have a readily available supply for you all. Also, I know I haven’t been doing personal messages on the other two and for that I apologize. Writing them was a little emotionally draining so…yeah. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and I hope YOU get to see a cute fuzzy animal as well.:)

-one girl

EXODUS: 2

exodus-2

I called your name at least 10 times, poking your arm with each annoying nickname I could think of–but you simply brushed me off and continued to read. The sound of rustling papers mixed with the sour smell of dusty shelves that engulfed the library; you were my only source of entertainment it seemed.

I wanted to go, I tried to give you some lame excuse but my words trailed off as your eyes reluctantly left the page to meet my own. I winced slightly at the tone of your voice when you said my name, it sounded far away–pleading almost. My gaze softened slightly and I let out a deep breath, I would stay. Immediately your expression brightened–my personal sunshine. I reached for my sketchbook, a sigh of relief leaving my lips the minute my fingertips traced the worn leather; I had nothing better to do, so why not draw my muse–you?

I moved with caution, careful not to draw your attention to me–you hated when i drew you; but how could I not? Your entire being seemed to have been hand-crafted from the purest things on earth. I glanced from you to my paper, my pencil moving lightly to capture your image on the canvas; I became so heavily engrossed in my little project that I didn’t even notice you staring at me. When I looked up momentarily I jumped at the sight, you frowned and shook your head with amusement dancing in your eyes.

You laughed and asked if I had been drawing you, I felt my face heat up and I scrambled to close the book. Explanations and protests began to spew out of me like word vomit, the upheaval stopped when you gently tugged the book from my grasp; I tried to stop you from looking but you simply ignored me. I watched as you lazily flipped through the pages, smiling slightly at my doodles; you paused momentarily on one page–I cringed. You had found my sketches of you, all the charcoal outlines messily displayed before your eyes. I wanted to say something but coherent sentences weren’t coming out, you handed the book back to me without a word.

I waited for a response–maybe even feedback–but you said nothing. You went back to your reading, the silence radiating around us. The bell rang, ending our free period. I hastily grabbed my bag and stood, wanting to escape confrontation. You stepped into my path and I looked up at you, waiting. You leaned in and lightly kissed my forehead, lingering there for a moment. As you pulled away you mumbled “Those drawings were beautiful”. You left before I could even comprehend the words.

 

And every time I look at you my hands become restless 

Searching for something to grasp on 

I put you on paper so that I can keep you 

So that I can finally touch you 

The same way you touched me

 

Hello my babes another EXODUS post!! I haven’t posted because honestly I didn’t know what to type, writer’s block ya feel? Anyway I’ll try to update the story more later–I’m thinking that I’ll just continue it here and do a few normal posts for every two chapters I post. Sound good? I hope that you’re doing OK, remember to stay hydrated and tell yourself that you love you. (I’m serious). Bye Bye for now!!

one girl 

p.s What do you call a pig that does karate?  A PORKCHOP (: 

 

 

EXODUS

exodus

I wanted to stay here forever; your chest was firmly pressed behind me while I doodled lazily in my notebook. I could feel the light vibration of your heart against my back, the delicate way your fingers tangled and untangled my hair; we were content, we were happy. But it had to come to an end.

You were the one that pulled away first; I felt your nimble hands stop working at their intricate braiding and your body shift slightly as you let out a deep sigh.

You told me our time was up before nudging me playfully. I groaned in response and nuzzled myself closer into you. I had pleaded with you to stay with me for these few moments–the only moments I had with you these days. I was selfish, but you didn’t mind; being the amazing person that you are, you graciously complied with my wishes.

You told me that we couldn’t avoid it forever; I simply said “we could try”. You kissed the top of my head with another deep sigh of adoration. The gesture was sweet, but I knew you well enough to know that it meant your word was final.  I pulled away from you so I could see your face, your stature towering over mine in an almost comedic manner.

I asked you if it would be different, and you didn’t answer. You did what you always did, which was stare. But not into my eyes–no, you had the kind of stare that looked at every part of a person’s soul. The type that would make a person squirm uncomfortably and shift their eyes shyly. Only, I had grown accustomed to this mesmerizing gaze and I merely stared back into those hazel mirrors with my eyebrows raised.

You broke the peace once more, standing up and looking down at me expectantly. I tried to search around your eyes for some sort of feeling, but I was drowning in irises. So instead I  held out my hands –trusting you. You grabbed them and led me out of my room, out into the real world.

You painted constellations on my skin 

While the space between us held hushed secrets 

Words spoken for only the moon and stars to hear 

We were in our own galaxy 

Two infinite beings racing towards oblivion

 

 

Hey guys! So that was a little excerpt of a novel I am currently working on; the structure is a bit unconventional, it’s basically snapshots of these two people’s lives together. Each chapter ends with a small poem like the one above, it’s been a challenge to write but well worth it I believe. 🙂 

So in the list of topics from a couple of weeks ago I mentioned posting snippets of my stories like this, but I will still cover the other topics. 

Thanks for reading

– one girl

p.s I missed writing on here so much you don’t even understand 🙂