EXODUS: 3

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You knew I loved puppies. No actually not loved–I LIVED for puppies; you watched me bemusedly as I gasped and made hushed squealing noises at each little ball of fluff and warmth. To contain my excitement I bounced from one foot to the other, shuffling between the top and bottom row as my fingertips strained beyond the caged fronts.

You told me to be careful and I simply scoffed at your words. How could I contain myself around so much cuteness? Before I could say this to you I heard the faintest whine directly above my head–my eyes landed on pure pup. The little cutie couldn’t have been more than a few months, its unkempt fur stuck out in all directions and its warm brown eyes seemed to mirror my own. I glanced over at you tapping away on your phone, seeing that you were distracted I kindly asked the puppy worker (you hated when I called them that) to bring this bundle of joy out to play.

They graciously complied and when you finally looked up I was holding the petite munchkin in my arms, beaming proudly at you. Your eyes darted between my face and the puppy for what felt like an eternity; I began to grow impatient and brought my attention to my new friend instead. His little teeth gnawed at the sleeve of

my shirt, I brushed my fingertip against his midnight fur gently–he was perfect.

That’s when I heard the camera shutter. I looked up and was genuinely surprised to see you snapping pictures of me with your phone, a small smile forming with each click. I shook my head and scrunched my nose up in embarrassment as I looked away from you. “Why are you doing that” I whispered frantically, trying not to disturb my little buddy nestled up in my arms. You didn’t answer, but continued to do your task–you laughed a little and I felt my heart soar.

We later left the store, sadly without my new little friend. As I sat there in the car with you–humming along to the radio–you grabbed my hand, gave it a squeeze and dropped it back into my lap. It was a small gesture, like the ones you did before, but I still felt my insides dissolve into jelly. You had this profound impression on me, and Lord knows I feared what would happen when this would end.

 

Please look at me like this forever 

Make me shudder with just a glance 

Let me feel your adoration grace my skin 

Give me this chance 

One more chance 

 

As promised, for every two posts I give you…AN EXODUS ENTRY!!! Sorry if this isn’t as good as the last two it was a kind of spur of the moment type of deal. I’m actually trying to produce multiple chapters at the moment so I have a readily available supply for you all. Also, I know I haven’t been doing personal messages on the other two and for that I apologize. Writing them was a little emotionally draining so…yeah. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and I hope YOU get to see a cute fuzzy animal as well.:)

-one girl

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Clarity

clarity

The world is a fuzzy place; things can easily be misconstrued and blurred around the edges. Instead of right turns you make left and take those wobbly steps around the next corner; I have often lived my life through mediocre lenses, squinting at the mirror before me and trying to figure out who I am.

Being around you is like visiting the doctor for a new pair of glasses. I’m sitting in this big chair with scary machines floating around my head while you give me sample after sample of new lenses to try. You help me find the pair that clears all of my senses.

I no longer take careful steps around the corners but rather stomp through neighborhoods with loud sirens and colorful lights that signal my arrival–with you standing right there next to me. Apart, we are just two little specks awkwardly figuring out the world–together we create the world around us.

I have seen colors that were nonexistent, heard sounds that didn’t make sense before, and said words that I’ve been too afraid to say. I’m lucky enough to have you there for all of these milestones in my life–the person I’ve been given the chance to call my best friend.

Some people go through their entire lives with a poor prescription, content with their tunnel vision. I think people like you were put on this earth to show people like me other things in life. People like you were born to give us clarity.

-one girl

I Should Tell You.

tumblr_o4lp89lsee1v724eto1_500Dear you,

I miss you us. Honestly, I don’t know what happened…I really don’t. You know how you can just feel a change within a person? I felt that with you, and I couldn’t pinpoint the exact source–so I avoided you. I know we wouldn’t have been more than friends, I know this. So why does it hurt so much? Gosh, I sound manipulative. I don’t want you to feel bad or guilty ok? I just need to tell you this.

I cared about you a lot; I made the mistake of believing I was more special to you than I really am was. I can’t just avoid you either, too many mutual friends reside between us. I told you so many things the first day I met you that take me months to tell others. You looked at me in a way that made me feel understood–accepted.

But maybe I just assumed too much ya know? I tried so hard. So so so so so so damn hard not to feel anything. That just made it worst–the emotions spewed out. For a moment it was amazing to feel that way; I’d forgotten how great it felt to adore someone so fiercely and openly. I was never sad around you, but I knew that if I needed to be I could–which is important to me.

I miss your eyes. I find myself looking for them, only to be disappointed. Do you remember when I could barely meet your gaze while talking? Now, I stare down every person I encounter to see if I can recreate the same feeling before. I can’t. I swear I saw your soul; it shimmered like the stars and was doused in watercolors, all the laughs that had escaped your lips before were artfully scattered atop the surface with all of the memories you held near and dear to your heart.

Every time you looked me in the eyes, that’s all I could see. I miss that. I miss hugging you and feeling like I’d known you my entire life. But that’s not what I wanted to tell you. Yes, you may scoff–I just wasted all this time to tell you what I really needed to say.

Thank you. Thank you for showing me a glimpse of what I deserve in life, teaching me the way I should be treated. I was so used to doing stuff for others that even the smallest things you did impressed surprised me. Thank you for this. Also another thing, something within me tells me that in another life we end up together. Call it wishful thinking, but anytime I talked to you I felt this underlying sense of nostalgia–and I think that’s beautiful.

I think that you’re beautiful.

-onegirl