I could feel the bile rising in my throat, my vision was becoming blurry and my jaw ached from clenching it so hard. The bag containing our takeout laid by my feet with its’ contents spilled about; you couldn’t see me–and maybe that was a good thing. You didn’t see the way my body shook as I tried to hold back the sobs threatening to escape their confines; you were too busy inhaling the person sprawled across your living room couch.
I watched you graze your fingertips over their exposed skin, I watched them nip at your neck and your eyes roll back into your skull with pleasure washing over your face. I stood there outside your house watching my soul shatter into a million pieces. I was paralyzed with so many emotions that I couldn’t even make sense of, that is until you pulled away from them and saw me.
You frowned ever so slightly before untangling yourself from the couch and moving towards the window, I turned and ran.
I heard the window slide open behind me and the way you yelled my name stabbed me in the chest. With each leap I took I allowed the tears to flow from my eyes–this pain urged me to run faster–to forget that you never even knew how much I had wanted to love you.
We tend to think of ourselves more important than we really are
In your eyes, I was a confidant
A lifelong friend
At one point, a drunken mistake
In my eyes, I was your soulmate
You were my moon, my stars, and so much more
We tend to think of ourselves more important than we really are
I know what you’re thinking, what the actual hell was this chapter??? Well, keep in mind that I said this story is just snapshots of these two peoples lives–it may not follow a linear path. This whole thing could be out of order, that’s all up to the reader’s interpretation. I will say that there are still a lot more chapters in this story–this is not the end…or is it? It was definitely a little bit harder to write this chapter considering how sweet the other three are. Also don’t listen to Skinny Love while reading this because I just bawled my eyes out. Happy reading kiddos!
-One girl
onegirlfouryears 