I’ve done the in between stuff.
Not really dating but not completely over.
I’ve convinced myself that it was ok, that I could be that person that sacrifices the need for commitment for a few stolen moments in the night.
But I can’t do that with you. I can’t sacrifice 9 whole months of love, feeling like I’m the only one on your mind and knowing that you’ll always choose me. I can never ever sacrifice that for you and above all else for myself.
Maybe we saw each other too soon. I lied. I said I would be ok but I’m not. I just wanted to see you; in my own selfish way I wanted to see if I could convince you to choose me. But all I did was cause even more heartache for myself.
You can’t have me both ways, I can’t become “just friends” but then magically become the love of your life once more just because you feel like kissing me. Or touching me like you used to not even days before, or say my name with such fondness that it feels like you gave me the title.
I’ve been through this, but it hurts astronomically more with you because I actually believed we had a chance. It’s breaking me in half because I’m still completely in love with you.
You took half of me with you when you sent that text.