Levis Cordis

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To you I say,

You are my equal parts in the form of never ending sunshine. You provide me with a warm glow that I can’t quite pin down and yet it seems it’s never the right time for us. It’s like everyone knows we should end up together—hell even we know—but some force keeps us from admitting anything directly. So we speak in code, a code I can barely decipher and sometimes feel like I’m making up half the time. But you are everything I’m supposed to have; not perfect, but completely the fixation of my adoration. Is third time the charm? Or is it just simply three strikes and you’re out?

To him I say,

I want you so much right now. Asking you for help that night didn’t feel like a mistake but now I know I’ve done some damage to all the work I put forth before; the addictive symptoms have returned and all I want is to hear you say my name. Just once, to hear your voice might stop the incessant pang I feel meeting your gaze across the hall. I ache for you, I find myself wondering what would happen if I proposed something casual—just something to cease this longing and gnawing within my mind.

I am too beautiful of a soul to focus on such trivial nonsense but here I am finding myself backed into a corner. You are what is right for me I believe, to see where we could go gives me anticipation beyond my wildest dreams.

But he, he leaves me with burning desire. I need him to extinguish the spark somehow; staying away from me doesn’t help, it only makes me wish for him more. He can’t hurt me anymore. I know this, he’s done all he can do to break me but I am still breathing; but for him to disregard the fact that I am strong—that I am alive—may send me 6 feet under once again.

Oh my fickle heart, I despise you.

 

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