I can’t really find the words right now but I’m going to try my hardest because you deserve that.
I love you—it may not feel the same as before but I will still always love you.
I want you to be happy, hell that’s all I wanted from the start. I know it doesn’t feel like that. But it’s true, I want you to be happy.
I know it’s beyond selfish of me to ask you to stay in my life as a friend, I’m fully aware. But the thought of never speaking to you again feels wrong, it feels fake.
It pained me to do it, you may not believe me but it really did. I wanted so badly to reach out and hold you or grab your hand but I didn’t want to hurt you anymore than I already did.
I had been contemplating for days and I needed to do what was right for me, for us. I didn’t want to be that couple that forced emotions just so they would hang on for a few more weeks and then fizzle out with heated tensions. I needed to end it now in the hopes of us one day being friends again, not strangers that awkwardly glanced at each other from across the room.
You are my first love, and I am beyond grateful for that. You’ve given me memories that I will never forget and the purest love I could’ve asked for.
I will always be here for you, just say the word. I’m right here rooting for you no matter what. I know you’ll meet someone else that makes you feel like you’re floating on clouds, you deserve that.
You are the most amazing person I have ever had the privilege of knowing. My feelings may have changed slightly but you are still the boy I wished for all those months ago.
I don’t know if you’ll ever read this, even though I secretly hope my blog is still on your browser. I hope you see these words and know that this was the hardest decision that I’ve ever made.
But I hope someday we can speak again without a bitter tone in our voices.
You are always and forever will be beautiful to me.